I'm not really sure what else needs to be said, because I think I've just about covered it all at some point or another.
Tomorrow I will officially be an Airman.
It's been a long, crazy, emotional process.
It's about to be a long, crazy, emotional nine weeks.
Bring it on.
Basic training is the seemingly uncrossable River standing between me and my future. It won't be fun; I'm sure there will be times where I'll feel like quitting. But I won't. Every step will be taken with the knowledge that my Friend, my Brother, my Savior is with me; that my family and friends are thinking about and praying for me. My will cannot be broken; my mind cannot be weakened. I have filled myself with encouraging thoughts that will keep me focused, and keep me moving forward. This River stands in my way, but there is a bank on the other side. In March, I will stretch out my hand and find my future there.
Until then...
^_^|/
Monday, January 18, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Ready
There is no worry.
There is no fear.
There is hardly any nervousness.
There are none of these things because my state-of-mind is the best it's ever been.
However...
With about 36 hours to go before I walk out the door, it all seems very...real.
My world is about to turn up-side-down.
It's so much more than a feeling of having to go without my stuff for a while.
It's more like I'm about to depart from myself entirely.
Before things settle down again, half a year will have passed.
The world will continue on without me, and I will continue on without the world.
There is nothing easy about what I'm about to go through.
But it will be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And I'm ready.
There is no fear.
There is hardly any nervousness.
There are none of these things because my state-of-mind is the best it's ever been.
However...
With about 36 hours to go before I walk out the door, it all seems very...real.
My world is about to turn up-side-down.
It's so much more than a feeling of having to go without my stuff for a while.
It's more like I'm about to depart from myself entirely.
Before things settle down again, half a year will have passed.
The world will continue on without me, and I will continue on without the world.
There is nothing easy about what I'm about to go through.
But it will be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And I'm ready.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Target Revisited
I officially saw the last of Target today.
I needed to go pick up all the little things I'm going to need to get me through zero week (next week!), and discovered I had a couple of Target gift cards that I had forgotten about, so I ran up there this morning. Plus, it gave me a chance to bid adieu to a few people that I really didn't get to talk to a few weeks ago.
I'm slowly getting things checked off my to-do-before-I-go list. I'm needing to run to the credit union tomorrow morning, as well as the comic book store. Then I can finish getting all my comics in order, and continue packing all my stuff.
Dell decided to send me my new mouse last night, but no laptop to go with it. It's like they're teasing me <_<
Nothing much new to say, really. A week from now, I'll be at Lackland wondering what the frack I've gotten myself into.
But I'm ready.
I needed to go pick up all the little things I'm going to need to get me through zero week (next week!), and discovered I had a couple of Target gift cards that I had forgotten about, so I ran up there this morning. Plus, it gave me a chance to bid adieu to a few people that I really didn't get to talk to a few weeks ago.
I'm slowly getting things checked off my to-do-before-I-go list. I'm needing to run to the credit union tomorrow morning, as well as the comic book store. Then I can finish getting all my comics in order, and continue packing all my stuff.
Dell decided to send me my new mouse last night, but no laptop to go with it. It's like they're teasing me <_<
Nothing much new to say, really. A week from now, I'll be at Lackland wondering what the frack I've gotten myself into.
But I'm ready.
Monday, January 11, 2010
My River
That whole idea about sleeping didn't work out so well. It's simply not going to happen.
I managed to over-saturate myself with basic training-related stuff today (yesterday), and managed to not, as one might assume, freak myself out, but rather managed to pump myself up to the point where I am now wide awake and sitting here thinking that I'm about to go through the most amazing eight weeks ever. To see videos of what's in store for me very shortly really gets me excited. I don't know how I never stumbled across this before, but it's a very cool overview and breakdown of Air Force BMT:
http://www.airforce.com/opportunities/enlisted/basic-training/
Of course, excited though I am, there's also a part of me that thinks upon the whole ordeal as impossible. Am I confident that I'll be able to make it through when the time comes? Absolutely. But there is no question that it will be the most difficult, exhausting, and trying thing I've ever had to do.
My first line of defense to counteract any self-doubt is the fact that I have a Savior who will be with me every step of the way, a God in whom I trust that the impossible is made possible, and a Spirit of encouragement. Also, knowing that I have the prayers and support of a loving family and friends means the world to me; and even though they (you) cannot physically be there, He is.
As far as my other point of encouragement, there is NOTHING that sums up and captures my personal feelings and emotions better than this:
Move forward.
Don't stop.
Walk the road of hope to the place where the sun rises.
A river blocking your way.
A river in your way.
A river of fate.
A river that tests you.
Cast aside your doubts.
Show some guts.
Don't hesitate.
Take a step right now.
Believe yourself.
Forward.
Forward.
Go straight forward.
Cross the river.
Dreams always seem far away.
They feel out of your reach.
Pick up one of the stones at your feet and throw it with all your might.
There's a river running before your eyes.
A big, wide river.
Even if it's deep and dark;
Even if the current is fast;
You don't need to be afraid.
It may be far away, but yes, there's a bank on the other side.
Have more faith in yourself.
Swim with all your might through the dark.
Don't look back.
When you stretch out your hand, you'll find your future there.
Don't give up, thinking you can't reach it.
The stone you threw will make your dream come true.
You won't even hear it land.
There's a river running in your heart too.
The river of hard times.
Even if things don't go well;
Even if you drown sometimes;
Just try again.
Don't give up.
There will be a bank.
You're sure to get there someday.
Get over it.
River!
Don't make excuses to yourself.
You won't know until you try.
Nothing for it but to go straight forward.
Keep on walking;
Forever;
Down the road you've chosen.
There's a river running before your eyes.
A big, wide river.
Even if it's deep and dark;
Even if the current is fast;
You don't need to be afraid.
It may be far away, but yes, there's a bank on the other side.
Have more faith in yourself.
There's a river running in your heart too.
A river of sweat and tears.
Even if you fail;
Even if you're swept away;
Just start over.
Never say die.
Hang on to your dreams until the day your wishes come true.
Cross the river.
You can do it!
Those are the most encouraging words I've ever heard. Forget the fact that it's a Japanese pop song for a minute (which, I realize now, I didn't even mention in the first place), and put yourself in my shoes, about to embark on the journey I'm about to begin. I take this song, which only just came out at the end of October, as a huge blessing for me personally, and as proof that God often uses the most unusual things to show us how much He cares. The song has been there for me throughout my preparations, and it will be ingrained in my head over the next few months; it is special to me in a way that goes beyond any real explanation. Between the timing of the release, the fact that I had only even become a fan of the group in September, the spot-on lyrics, and the fact that (and this is the real kicker) the music video is military-themed, I simply cannot accept that there was mere coincidence involved with it becoming part of who I am.
I actually went ahead and uploaded the video (with subtitles) to YouTube. The subtitles are not my work (the credits are in the video), and I really appreciate the effort that was taken to make a subbed version. When I think on basic training, I think of this song. They are hand-in-glove to me, and I encourage you to watch it as if in my position, looking beyond the pretty girls in the skirts, and into the meaning, power, and emotion of the song:
AKB48 - RIVER
I managed to over-saturate myself with basic training-related stuff today (yesterday), and managed to not, as one might assume, freak myself out, but rather managed to pump myself up to the point where I am now wide awake and sitting here thinking that I'm about to go through the most amazing eight weeks ever. To see videos of what's in store for me very shortly really gets me excited. I don't know how I never stumbled across this before, but it's a very cool overview and breakdown of Air Force BMT:
http://www.airforce.com/opportunities/enlisted/basic-training/
Of course, excited though I am, there's also a part of me that thinks upon the whole ordeal as impossible. Am I confident that I'll be able to make it through when the time comes? Absolutely. But there is no question that it will be the most difficult, exhausting, and trying thing I've ever had to do.
My first line of defense to counteract any self-doubt is the fact that I have a Savior who will be with me every step of the way, a God in whom I trust that the impossible is made possible, and a Spirit of encouragement. Also, knowing that I have the prayers and support of a loving family and friends means the world to me; and even though they (you) cannot physically be there, He is.
As far as my other point of encouragement, there is NOTHING that sums up and captures my personal feelings and emotions better than this:
Move forward.
Don't stop.
Walk the road of hope to the place where the sun rises.
A river blocking your way.
A river in your way.
A river of fate.
A river that tests you.
Cast aside your doubts.
Show some guts.
Don't hesitate.
Take a step right now.
Believe yourself.
Forward.
Forward.
Go straight forward.
Cross the river.
Dreams always seem far away.
They feel out of your reach.
Pick up one of the stones at your feet and throw it with all your might.
There's a river running before your eyes.
A big, wide river.
Even if it's deep and dark;
Even if the current is fast;
You don't need to be afraid.
It may be far away, but yes, there's a bank on the other side.
Have more faith in yourself.
Swim with all your might through the dark.
Don't look back.
When you stretch out your hand, you'll find your future there.
Don't give up, thinking you can't reach it.
The stone you threw will make your dream come true.
You won't even hear it land.
There's a river running in your heart too.
The river of hard times.
Even if things don't go well;
Even if you drown sometimes;
Just try again.
Don't give up.
There will be a bank.
You're sure to get there someday.
Get over it.
River!
Don't make excuses to yourself.
You won't know until you try.
Nothing for it but to go straight forward.
Keep on walking;
Forever;
Down the road you've chosen.
There's a river running before your eyes.
A big, wide river.
Even if it's deep and dark;
Even if the current is fast;
You don't need to be afraid.
It may be far away, but yes, there's a bank on the other side.
Have more faith in yourself.
There's a river running in your heart too.
A river of sweat and tears.
Even if you fail;
Even if you're swept away;
Just start over.
Never say die.
Hang on to your dreams until the day your wishes come true.
Cross the river.
You can do it!
Those are the most encouraging words I've ever heard. Forget the fact that it's a Japanese pop song for a minute (which, I realize now, I didn't even mention in the first place), and put yourself in my shoes, about to embark on the journey I'm about to begin. I take this song, which only just came out at the end of October, as a huge blessing for me personally, and as proof that God often uses the most unusual things to show us how much He cares. The song has been there for me throughout my preparations, and it will be ingrained in my head over the next few months; it is special to me in a way that goes beyond any real explanation. Between the timing of the release, the fact that I had only even become a fan of the group in September, the spot-on lyrics, and the fact that (and this is the real kicker) the music video is military-themed, I simply cannot accept that there was mere coincidence involved with it becoming part of who I am.
I actually went ahead and uploaded the video (with subtitles) to YouTube. The subtitles are not my work (the credits are in the video), and I really appreciate the effort that was taken to make a subbed version. When I think on basic training, I think of this song. They are hand-in-glove to me, and I encourage you to watch it as if in my position, looking beyond the pretty girls in the skirts, and into the meaning, power, and emotion of the song:
AKB48 - RIVER
Never Mind
I was going to write something, but I think I'll grab a few hours of sleep instead, and write early tomorrow morning.
Deal?
Deal?
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Quitting
Sometimes I really just feel like giving up.
I really want to be able to accomplish any task that I set my mind to, but there are times where it all seems far too difficult.
I know I have to press on, though; with determination and sheer force of will, I continue.
It's so much more arduous than I ever thought it would be.
I am, of course, talking about learning the names of all the AKB48 girls.
^__^
I have a good solid 30 down, though that does include a couple of SKE crossovers. Seriously though, how am I supposed to remember which one is which when there is a Haruka Katayama and a Haruka Nakagawa? Grr...
Anyhoo, I was finally able to sit down today and complete my 2009 financial record, as well as my preliminary 2010 budget. I've been waiting to see the bottom line before I gave myself the go-ahead to purchase my laptop, which I also did today. I'm glad I waited, too, as Dell just overhauled their available features on their systems. Prices are the same, but some options are different now. The only thing that really changed for the system I was building is that if I got it last week, I would have had a free upgrade to a 9-cell battery, which would have been cool, but isn't a big deal. Also, I was able to get it in black, which is what I wanted, rather than red, which was the only color available last week.
This is her:
Dell Studio 17
Windows 7
Intel Core Duo T6600 (2.2GHz/800MHz FSB/2MB cache)
4GB Shared Dual Channel DDR3 at 1066MHz
17.3" HD+ (1600x900) Bright LED Display
Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 4500MHD
320 GB SATA HDD (7200rpm)
8x Slot Load CD/DVD Burner (Dual Layer DVD+/-R Drive)
Soundblaster X-Fi Hi Def Audio
Intel WiFi Link 5100 802.11n Half Mini-Card
6 Cell Battery
Bluetooth
A cool-looking mouse
3 USB Ports
HDMI
All for a bit more than $1000, so I'm pretty happy. Of course, I won't get to lay eyes on the thing until April, but that'll just be another on my long list of things to look forward to.
Also, once I'm able to, I'm going to renew my Sprint contract, grab a new phone, and get a mobile broadband card. Then I'll be awesome.
Sorry, but I have to mention my latest J-music discovery. I was listening to some AKB48 albums today, which I really haven't done before. I know all the singles, and a few of the album tracks, but there are a lot of songs that I'm not at all familiar with. One such song began to play, and I quite liked it; I found it to be rather catchy. Then the chorus hit, and I did the audial equivalent of a double-take, as I was sure they were saying "Jesus." Turns out the song is actually called "Jesus." Of course, I had to go and look up the translation, and sure enough, it was about Him. It's here: http://stage48.net/studio48/jesus.html I'm not going to even begin to attempt to figure out the hows and whys of them doing that song. I'm just going to be happy that two of my favorite things managed to inexplicably come together ^__^ If the stage performance DVD would hurry up and download, I'll probably stick it on YouTube.
Strange world.
I really want to be able to accomplish any task that I set my mind to, but there are times where it all seems far too difficult.
I know I have to press on, though; with determination and sheer force of will, I continue.
It's so much more arduous than I ever thought it would be.
I am, of course, talking about learning the names of all the AKB48 girls.
^__^
I have a good solid 30 down, though that does include a couple of SKE crossovers. Seriously though, how am I supposed to remember which one is which when there is a Haruka Katayama and a Haruka Nakagawa? Grr...
Anyhoo, I was finally able to sit down today and complete my 2009 financial record, as well as my preliminary 2010 budget. I've been waiting to see the bottom line before I gave myself the go-ahead to purchase my laptop, which I also did today. I'm glad I waited, too, as Dell just overhauled their available features on their systems. Prices are the same, but some options are different now. The only thing that really changed for the system I was building is that if I got it last week, I would have had a free upgrade to a 9-cell battery, which would have been cool, but isn't a big deal. Also, I was able to get it in black, which is what I wanted, rather than red, which was the only color available last week.
This is her:
Dell Studio 17
Windows 7
Intel Core Duo T6600 (2.2GHz/800MHz FSB/2MB cache)
4GB Shared Dual Channel DDR3 at 1066MHz
17.3" HD+ (1600x900) Bright LED Display
Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 4500MHD
320 GB SATA HDD (7200rpm)
8x Slot Load CD/DVD Burner (Dual Layer DVD+/-R Drive)
Soundblaster X-Fi Hi Def Audio
Intel WiFi Link 5100 802.11n Half Mini-Card
6 Cell Battery
Bluetooth
A cool-looking mouse
3 USB Ports
HDMI
All for a bit more than $1000, so I'm pretty happy. Of course, I won't get to lay eyes on the thing until April, but that'll just be another on my long list of things to look forward to.
Also, once I'm able to, I'm going to renew my Sprint contract, grab a new phone, and get a mobile broadband card. Then I'll be awesome.
Sorry, but I have to mention my latest J-music discovery. I was listening to some AKB48 albums today, which I really haven't done before. I know all the singles, and a few of the album tracks, but there are a lot of songs that I'm not at all familiar with. One such song began to play, and I quite liked it; I found it to be rather catchy. Then the chorus hit, and I did the audial equivalent of a double-take, as I was sure they were saying "Jesus." Turns out the song is actually called "Jesus." Of course, I had to go and look up the translation, and sure enough, it was about Him. It's here: http://stage48.net/studio48/jesus.html I'm not going to even begin to attempt to figure out the hows and whys of them doing that song. I'm just going to be happy that two of my favorite things managed to inexplicably come together ^__^ If the stage performance DVD would hurry up and download, I'll probably stick it on YouTube.
Strange world.
Reflecting Again
I just spent some time over on my other blog reflecting a bit upon last year.
Every time I think about where I was and what what I went through, I realize how exceedingly grateful I am for a Savior and Friend who is always there, and for a Heavenly Father who is willing to reach down and pull me from the mire and set me on His path.
I think upon my state of mind right now; my emotional and Spiritual states; my desires, my interests, my goals; and I realize that there is no part of me that ever wants to go back to the way I was a year ago. I am 100% content - something I haven't felt for a long, long time.
Every time I think about where I was and what what I went through, I realize how exceedingly grateful I am for a Savior and Friend who is always there, and for a Heavenly Father who is willing to reach down and pull me from the mire and set me on His path.
I think upon my state of mind right now; my emotional and Spiritual states; my desires, my interests, my goals; and I realize that there is no part of me that ever wants to go back to the way I was a year ago. I am 100% content - something I haven't felt for a long, long time.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Too Much Sleep
Well, that didn't exactly go according to plan.
Sleeping for eleven straight hours was certainly not my intent.
Now I feel as though I've managed to waste a good seven or eight hours, which is a significant amount of time, considering that I have only about 240 hours until I'm out the door.
And that number just freaked me out.
I'm going to go work on some stuff...
Sleeping for eleven straight hours was certainly not my intent.
Now I feel as though I've managed to waste a good seven or eight hours, which is a significant amount of time, considering that I have only about 240 hours until I'm out the door.
And that number just freaked me out.
I'm going to go work on some stuff...
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Bed-Time
I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight. Of course, these days, going to bed before 4AM is pretty much considered early <_<
I'm actually hoping to wake up around that time tomorrow, and start getting myself re-accustomed to waking in the early morning hours.
So off I go.
I'm actually hoping to wake up around that time tomorrow, and start getting myself re-accustomed to waking in the early morning hours.
So off I go.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
So...
...I have all these plastic tubs to put my stuff in, in order to get it all prepped to move out.
Dilemma:
The tubs stack inside of each other when empty, thus not taking up a whole lot of space. But, of course, when full, no more stacking within each other. I see major spacial issues on the horizon...
Anyway, I managed to sort through a bunch of my random stuff and things today, and ended up (drumroll, please)........throwing a good deal of useless stuff and things away. That's quite an accomplishment, considering that I am the king of hoarders. The task shall continue tomorrow. It's not going to be nearly as difficult and frustrating as I thought it would be.
What is frustrating, however, is the fact that the Marvel comic event "Siege" began today. Basically, all the stories I have read in the comics over the past seven years are finally converging. And I get to miss it. An event seven years in the making; happenings that I have been following and keeping up with and dedicating so much time and money to, and just as it's all about to come together, I'm having to leave it behind for months. Go figure.
In a wonderfully timed continuation of recent goodness happening in my Japanese music world, AKB48 performed their new single on their weekly variety show last night. I was hoping against hope that I would get to hear the song, as it doesn't go on sale until mid-February, so I was delighted at the news that my hopes were being granted. The song is basically the opposite of what I was expecting, and is so different from the material that AKB48 seems to structure themselves around. But it works. I went ahead and uploaded it. It's a very beautiful little choral piece. Give it a listen:
^__^|/
Dilemma:
The tubs stack inside of each other when empty, thus not taking up a whole lot of space. But, of course, when full, no more stacking within each other. I see major spacial issues on the horizon...
Anyway, I managed to sort through a bunch of my random stuff and things today, and ended up (drumroll, please)........throwing a good deal of useless stuff and things away. That's quite an accomplishment, considering that I am the king of hoarders. The task shall continue tomorrow. It's not going to be nearly as difficult and frustrating as I thought it would be.
What is frustrating, however, is the fact that the Marvel comic event "Siege" began today. Basically, all the stories I have read in the comics over the past seven years are finally converging. And I get to miss it. An event seven years in the making; happenings that I have been following and keeping up with and dedicating so much time and money to, and just as it's all about to come together, I'm having to leave it behind for months. Go figure.
In a wonderfully timed continuation of recent goodness happening in my Japanese music world, AKB48 performed their new single on their weekly variety show last night. I was hoping against hope that I would get to hear the song, as it doesn't go on sale until mid-February, so I was delighted at the news that my hopes were being granted. The song is basically the opposite of what I was expecting, and is so different from the material that AKB48 seems to structure themselves around. But it works. I went ahead and uploaded it. It's a very beautiful little choral piece. Give it a listen:
^__^|/
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
+1.5
First off, apologies for the lack of updates, but there honestly hasn't been a whole lot to update.
The holiday season is now officially over; my grandparents returning to Florida yesterday pretty much sealed the deal as far as that's concerned. I hate saying goodbye, but I'll get to see them again in June when I graduate from tech school, so it's all good.
I got back from seeing my recruiter about thirty minutes ago, where I got some good news. Instead of, as was originally planned, leaving on Sunday morning (the 17th), I now have to be in Dallas sometime on Monday evening (the 18th), so that adds a good day-and-a-half to my remaining civilian life ^__^
I pretty much said goodbye to my video games yesterday, as I finally managed to complete the last of the downloadable missions in Fallout 3. I'm at good stopping-points on the rest of my games, except Call of Duty's multiplayer, which should take about a half-hour on Thursday to conclude (for now). Other than that, the Xbox won't be seeing much more play time, save for a bit of Rock Band, over the next couple of weeks.
It's been a good couple of days on the music front. I realized the other day that I actually know half of the 48 members of AKB48, which led me to try to learn the other half before I leave, just for the heck of it. Also, I've been waiting on the S/mileage PV for "Suki Chan" for some time now, as the promo stuff has been out for weeks, and was glad to see it finally released. S/mileage is the best thing Hello!Project has going for them right now, and it'll be fun to get to follow this group from its inception. Melon Kinenbi, for their fifth collaborative single, joined forces with a group called Going Under Ground, and while the collaboration is so-so (except for the parts featuring Ayumi, natch), I looked into Going Under Ground and discovered them to be a pretty cool band.
'Tis all for now.
The holiday season is now officially over; my grandparents returning to Florida yesterday pretty much sealed the deal as far as that's concerned. I hate saying goodbye, but I'll get to see them again in June when I graduate from tech school, so it's all good.
I got back from seeing my recruiter about thirty minutes ago, where I got some good news. Instead of, as was originally planned, leaving on Sunday morning (the 17th), I now have to be in Dallas sometime on Monday evening (the 18th), so that adds a good day-and-a-half to my remaining civilian life ^__^
I pretty much said goodbye to my video games yesterday, as I finally managed to complete the last of the downloadable missions in Fallout 3. I'm at good stopping-points on the rest of my games, except Call of Duty's multiplayer, which should take about a half-hour on Thursday to conclude (for now). Other than that, the Xbox won't be seeing much more play time, save for a bit of Rock Band, over the next couple of weeks.
It's been a good couple of days on the music front. I realized the other day that I actually know half of the 48 members of AKB48, which led me to try to learn the other half before I leave, just for the heck of it. Also, I've been waiting on the S/mileage PV for "Suki Chan" for some time now, as the promo stuff has been out for weeks, and was glad to see it finally released. S/mileage is the best thing Hello!Project has going for them right now, and it'll be fun to get to follow this group from its inception. Melon Kinenbi, for their fifth collaborative single, joined forces with a group called Going Under Ground, and while the collaboration is so-so (except for the parts featuring Ayumi, natch), I looked into Going Under Ground and discovered them to be a pretty cool band.
'Tis all for now.
Friday, January 1, 2010
A Breakthrough Year
If my current self were to travel back one year ago and tell my at-that-time self what would be in store for him (er...me) in 2009, I/he wouldn't have believed a word of it.
If I had been told that I would have spent so much time during the first few months going out to the bars and drowning my sorrows with tequila shots...
If I had been told that I would see the last of Target before the year's end...
If I had been told (and this is the big one, folks...) that I would be entering Air Force basic training in January of 2010...
I would not have believed it.
2009 will be remembered as the year that everything changed.
I am not the same person mentally, physically, spiritually, morally, or any other -ally that I was last year.
Bad habits and obsessions are gone and have been replaced with perfectly healthy ones.
Relationships that were on the verge of dying have been restored and new friendships have sprung up.
Desires have changed.
Miracles have been seen.
For the first time in...ever...I know I am perfectly on the proper path.
The Air Force thing came about on account of a number of issues. Back in December of 2008 I was demoted from my team lead position at Target, and didn't take it very well. I spoke not a word of it to anybody outside of work for months. I was ashamed. I was hurt. I didn't really understand what had happened. With the massive raise and the rise in position came a high level of confidence and, consequently, a bit of a prideful attitude. I thought I would be able to spend the money, get the girl, and live happily ever after. Instead, I fell into debt, gave up on the girl, and found myself spending my evenings in the drinking establishments. Not the type of place I would expect to find myself. I'm not going to sit here and lie and say it wasn't fun, because it was. Great times, to be quite honest. But, as I spiraled deeper into that life, my Spirit began to kick in, and the wrongness of the situation became brutally apparent. It had to stop.
Joining the military is something that has always been on the back of my mind; something that I swore I would never do, but the thought has always been there, more than likely because my father made a career in the Air Force. Seeing where my life was heading and where the economy was heading, and just wanting to escape my current situation, the thought began to move a little bit forward in my brain. At around that time, and once I had confessed my demotion and drinking issues to my parents, my father suggested that I look into joining up. Which I did. I went online and began, for the first time ever, to see what the Air Force was all about. It took all of thirty minutes to realize that that was what I wanted to do. And needed to do. I sit here now and ponder my life, and I realize that, through all that has happened, my only regret is that I hadn't made that decision years ago.
The decision was made in April, and prayed about and pondered through May. After my trip to North Carolina to see my family in June, I got the ball rolling by sitting down with my recruiter, and got a date to go down to Dallas for processing. To make a long story short, I was disqualified, told that it would not be possible for me to get a waiver, that my hopes of joining the US military were gone, and I was sent home.
Dejected.
But not without hope.
You see, I knew beyond any doubt that I was on the right path. God had placed me there, and there was no way the journey was over. I can see now that it was a test of faith, and after many failures over the years, I passed this one. Not once did I not believe that He would come through. And He did. I have to believe that the only reason I am entering the Air Force is through absolute Divine intervention. As far as what that did for me spiritually, it brought me so extraordinarily close to Him; not a day goes by in which I don't remember how His hand reached down and kept me where I need to be. And not a day will go by during my time in the Air Force in which I don't recall how I got there.
A miracle.
So here I am, only a couple of weeks away. I wouldn't be human if I wasn't a little nervous, but there is absolutely no fear. No worry. No issues or concerns. I'm looking forward to the journey; and I'm not taking it alone. To understand that He will never leave or forsake me is empowering.
So, enough about the Air Force. What else happened in 2009?
I suppose one of the major occurrences, and I'm going to write about this in length at some point before I leave, but I need to mention it here, was how my casual interest in the Japanese pop group Morning Musume (dating back to April of 2007) turned into an all-out obsession of the Japanese pop world. That fandom has even managed to replace comic books as my main interest. And that's saying something.
Not coincidentally, the major fixation began back in April, right around the time the Air Force seeds were planted. I began to spend a lot of time with the music and the personalities, and realized that the whole scene pushed all the right buttons for me, more than I would have ever thought possible. Back then, understanding that I needed to make a lot of changes in my life, I cut ties to a number of rather unwholesome addictions and habits. The world of J-pop, while a bit of a guilty pleasure, is completely unguilty on my conscience, if that makes sense. It's fun. It's wholesome. It honestly keeps me in a very happy and healthy mindset. And there's no shame in the obsession. I don't think anybody really understands how much it all means to me and how much it has genuinely helped me over the last few months. I'm not afraid to allow that music and those girls to be something that defines who I am, and I honestly believe that it's been allowed into my life at such a high level of interest for good reason.
Now I guess I'll mention some frivolous stuff:
Video Games:
I bought a DS this year, which has proven to be awesome. The Ouendan games are spectacular, Scribblenauts is wonderfully bizarre, Pokemon Platinum is addicting as all get out. And I have the two DS Zelda games sitting there unplayed. That will be remedied in a few months.
Resident Evil 5 was brilliant.
I experienced Tomb Raider for the first time. Really fun, and Lara's...well...she's just great.
The Beatles Rock Band is one of the most produced-with-love things I've ever seen. So much care was taken to make it exactly what it needed to be.
Dead Space actually (but not literally) scared the crap out of me.
Halo 3: ODST was way better than I expected it to be. Had a lot of fun playing all the Firefight maps with my buddies.
Left 4 Dead provided many hours of wonderful online zombie-killing enjoyment.
From what I managed to play of Infinite Undiscovery, I think it could very well have been one of the greatest games ever. It's amazing, but the unrealized potential can be seen in nearly every aspect. I do, however, think it wins the award for Cutest Video Game Character Ever. I like to keep the ultra-cute Aya in my party at all times, even if I think somebody else would work better ^__^
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 was the big one. The campaign was very nice, and the airport bit will never ever be forgotten. Undoubtedly and hands down the best multiplayer out there, though. It's absurdly fun and addictive.
Movies:
Hmm...
I didn't see a whole lot of movies last year.
I never go to the theater.
Let's see...
Watchmen was great, if not only to see the characters come to life.
Quantum of Solace ranks up there with the best of the Bond films. Daniel Craig is amazing.
Underworld 3 was good, despite the severe lackage of my beloved Kate Beckinsale.
Inglourious Basterds was a different movie than what I as expecting, and it took me a while to realize that I really loved it, but I really loved it.
If I had three thumbs, they'd all be up for District 9. Amazing.
Music:
Do I really need to say anything?
^__^
Comic Books:
Disney bought Marvel a while back, which was upsetting at the time, but I really haven't heard a whole lot about it since.
Matt Fraction's Iron Man story, "World's Most Wanted" was spectacular. The comic book highlight of the year, in my opinion.
Most of the year, of course, focused on Norman Osborn and the "Dark Reign," which has been quite compelling. I'm thinking that he's about to get his keester handed to him here in the next few months (which, as luck would have it, I'm going to miss out on).
All in all, the storytelling going on in Marvel Comics is the best storytelling going on in any medium right now. It's why I support them; it's why I don't mind spending quite a high percentage of my hard-earned cash on them. Really amazing stuff.
So...
2009 was good. It didn't start out that way, but ended up being the best year of my life. And I believe that the changes and the decisions that were made last year will lead into setting up this year and future years as even better ones.
Happy beginnings, 2010.
^_^|/
If I had been told that I would have spent so much time during the first few months going out to the bars and drowning my sorrows with tequila shots...
If I had been told that I would see the last of Target before the year's end...
If I had been told (and this is the big one, folks...) that I would be entering Air Force basic training in January of 2010...
I would not have believed it.
2009 will be remembered as the year that everything changed.
I am not the same person mentally, physically, spiritually, morally, or any other -ally that I was last year.
Bad habits and obsessions are gone and have been replaced with perfectly healthy ones.
Relationships that were on the verge of dying have been restored and new friendships have sprung up.
Desires have changed.
Miracles have been seen.
For the first time in...ever...I know I am perfectly on the proper path.
The Air Force thing came about on account of a number of issues. Back in December of 2008 I was demoted from my team lead position at Target, and didn't take it very well. I spoke not a word of it to anybody outside of work for months. I was ashamed. I was hurt. I didn't really understand what had happened. With the massive raise and the rise in position came a high level of confidence and, consequently, a bit of a prideful attitude. I thought I would be able to spend the money, get the girl, and live happily ever after. Instead, I fell into debt, gave up on the girl, and found myself spending my evenings in the drinking establishments. Not the type of place I would expect to find myself. I'm not going to sit here and lie and say it wasn't fun, because it was. Great times, to be quite honest. But, as I spiraled deeper into that life, my Spirit began to kick in, and the wrongness of the situation became brutally apparent. It had to stop.
Joining the military is something that has always been on the back of my mind; something that I swore I would never do, but the thought has always been there, more than likely because my father made a career in the Air Force. Seeing where my life was heading and where the economy was heading, and just wanting to escape my current situation, the thought began to move a little bit forward in my brain. At around that time, and once I had confessed my demotion and drinking issues to my parents, my father suggested that I look into joining up. Which I did. I went online and began, for the first time ever, to see what the Air Force was all about. It took all of thirty minutes to realize that that was what I wanted to do. And needed to do. I sit here now and ponder my life, and I realize that, through all that has happened, my only regret is that I hadn't made that decision years ago.
The decision was made in April, and prayed about and pondered through May. After my trip to North Carolina to see my family in June, I got the ball rolling by sitting down with my recruiter, and got a date to go down to Dallas for processing. To make a long story short, I was disqualified, told that it would not be possible for me to get a waiver, that my hopes of joining the US military were gone, and I was sent home.
Dejected.
But not without hope.
You see, I knew beyond any doubt that I was on the right path. God had placed me there, and there was no way the journey was over. I can see now that it was a test of faith, and after many failures over the years, I passed this one. Not once did I not believe that He would come through. And He did. I have to believe that the only reason I am entering the Air Force is through absolute Divine intervention. As far as what that did for me spiritually, it brought me so extraordinarily close to Him; not a day goes by in which I don't remember how His hand reached down and kept me where I need to be. And not a day will go by during my time in the Air Force in which I don't recall how I got there.
A miracle.
So here I am, only a couple of weeks away. I wouldn't be human if I wasn't a little nervous, but there is absolutely no fear. No worry. No issues or concerns. I'm looking forward to the journey; and I'm not taking it alone. To understand that He will never leave or forsake me is empowering.
So, enough about the Air Force. What else happened in 2009?
I suppose one of the major occurrences, and I'm going to write about this in length at some point before I leave, but I need to mention it here, was how my casual interest in the Japanese pop group Morning Musume (dating back to April of 2007) turned into an all-out obsession of the Japanese pop world. That fandom has even managed to replace comic books as my main interest. And that's saying something.
Not coincidentally, the major fixation began back in April, right around the time the Air Force seeds were planted. I began to spend a lot of time with the music and the personalities, and realized that the whole scene pushed all the right buttons for me, more than I would have ever thought possible. Back then, understanding that I needed to make a lot of changes in my life, I cut ties to a number of rather unwholesome addictions and habits. The world of J-pop, while a bit of a guilty pleasure, is completely unguilty on my conscience, if that makes sense. It's fun. It's wholesome. It honestly keeps me in a very happy and healthy mindset. And there's no shame in the obsession. I don't think anybody really understands how much it all means to me and how much it has genuinely helped me over the last few months. I'm not afraid to allow that music and those girls to be something that defines who I am, and I honestly believe that it's been allowed into my life at such a high level of interest for good reason.
Now I guess I'll mention some frivolous stuff:
Video Games:
I bought a DS this year, which has proven to be awesome. The Ouendan games are spectacular, Scribblenauts is wonderfully bizarre, Pokemon Platinum is addicting as all get out. And I have the two DS Zelda games sitting there unplayed. That will be remedied in a few months.
Resident Evil 5 was brilliant.
I experienced Tomb Raider for the first time. Really fun, and Lara's...well...she's just great.
The Beatles Rock Band is one of the most produced-with-love things I've ever seen. So much care was taken to make it exactly what it needed to be.
Dead Space actually (but not literally) scared the crap out of me.
Halo 3: ODST was way better than I expected it to be. Had a lot of fun playing all the Firefight maps with my buddies.
Left 4 Dead provided many hours of wonderful online zombie-killing enjoyment.
From what I managed to play of Infinite Undiscovery, I think it could very well have been one of the greatest games ever. It's amazing, but the unrealized potential can be seen in nearly every aspect. I do, however, think it wins the award for Cutest Video Game Character Ever. I like to keep the ultra-cute Aya in my party at all times, even if I think somebody else would work better ^__^
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 was the big one. The campaign was very nice, and the airport bit will never ever be forgotten. Undoubtedly and hands down the best multiplayer out there, though. It's absurdly fun and addictive.
Movies:
Hmm...
I didn't see a whole lot of movies last year.
I never go to the theater.
Let's see...
Watchmen was great, if not only to see the characters come to life.
Quantum of Solace ranks up there with the best of the Bond films. Daniel Craig is amazing.
Underworld 3 was good, despite the severe lackage of my beloved Kate Beckinsale.
Inglourious Basterds was a different movie than what I as expecting, and it took me a while to realize that I really loved it, but I really loved it.
If I had three thumbs, they'd all be up for District 9. Amazing.
Music:
Do I really need to say anything?
^__^
Comic Books:
Disney bought Marvel a while back, which was upsetting at the time, but I really haven't heard a whole lot about it since.
Matt Fraction's Iron Man story, "World's Most Wanted" was spectacular. The comic book highlight of the year, in my opinion.
Most of the year, of course, focused on Norman Osborn and the "Dark Reign," which has been quite compelling. I'm thinking that he's about to get his keester handed to him here in the next few months (which, as luck would have it, I'm going to miss out on).
All in all, the storytelling going on in Marvel Comics is the best storytelling going on in any medium right now. It's why I support them; it's why I don't mind spending quite a high percentage of my hard-earned cash on them. Really amazing stuff.
So...
2009 was good. It didn't start out that way, but ended up being the best year of my life. And I believe that the changes and the decisions that were made last year will lead into setting up this year and future years as even better ones.
Happy beginnings, 2010.
^_^|/
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