Calmer Waters

I almost died of awesomeness overload last night.

Here's the deal:

So Norman Osborn just ordered The Sentry (who, minutes before, managed to literally rip Ares, the frakkin' god of war in half(!!!)) to take down Thor. Then Taskmaster was all like, "Um...Norman...you might want to turn around." Then Norman's armor was all, "INCOMING." Then I turned the page and saw this:


In issue three, that shield will meet that head and IT IS ON!

I'm so excited ^__^

Anyway, the four-day weekend is over, and it's back to school tomorrow. I'm half-way through my course, and the hardest part of it is behind me. I'll be out of here in mid-July, which gives me only another month-and-a-half. The stress level is significantly down from where it was for the past couple of weeks, and should stay down until the beginning of next month when I get into my Security+ certification stuff, which I don't really even want to think about right now. I suppose my biggest accomplishment over the long weekend was semi-regrowing my goatee:


Of course, I had to shave before getting back in uniform this evening, but it was nice to look like myself again, albeit for a very brief amount of time ^__^

With things calming down a bit, I think I'll be able to get on here more frequently than I have been. You have no idea how stressed out I've been. I was actually worried about not passing my test last Thursday, and that never happens. This is not easy stuff, but I'm doing alright.

Time for me to go read some comics before bed-time.

^__^|/

...

Well, what do you know...I managed to make it through a whole post without mentioning anything about any Japanese girls...

...oops.

^_~

(not continued)

No "real" post today, and more than likely nothing until the weekend. I need to spend some time studying for Thursday's test, which I'm actually a bit nervous about. I just wanted to get on here to prove that I'm studying and not doing something like watching the newest AKB48 PVs over and over and over...^_~





See? Studying.

Four day weekend coming up, by the way. Can't wait.

^_^|/

One Year (Part Three)

I've never really attempted to put all of the following into words, and it all seems rather silly when I see it on paper or say it out loud, but I promise it makes sense in my head...

Sometimes it's funny how things work out. As bizarre as it seems, and as I said, as difficult as it is to word into an understandable concept, my whole Japanese idol obsession was born out of my time of spiritual renewal. To quickly clarify, as that may have sounded odd to the uninitiated, by "Japanese idols," I am referring to my pop-music girls; "idols" just happens to be the official term they are known as. Anyway...it's amazing to me how God can take something secular like that and allow it to be used as such a huge source of focus and inspiration for me, without it ever detracting from the focus on Himself. In fact, I am able to give Him all the more praise for allowing me to be so deeply involved in that sub-culture. In the past year, my J-pop and J-idol fandom has turned from a passing interest into the ridiculous obsession that it is today. And I'm the first to admit the absurdity of it all. Going purposefully overboard (i.e. buying cakes for their birthdays) with my admiration of the girls is all part of the fun. It seems crazy, but it's something I've needed. Before I left for basic training, I would often joke about the idea that if my major cause of stress in life is a 17-year-old Japanese girl getting a not-so-good haircut, then things must be going pretty well. It seems a bit nonsensical, but I've never taken for granted the fact that the Lord gets all the credit for allowing me to be involved in this realm of super-adorable, skirt-clad, singing/dancing Japanese girls. It's honestly a very happy and healthy way to occupy my time and the girls and the music have been instrumental in keeping my mood and mindset positive, as it is decidedly impossible to be or to remain in a bad mood or angry of depressed or even stressed when I'm involved in that world. Now, am I saying that I run to them when there's a problem? No; my constant state of connectivity with my Heavenly Father is what gets me through the day. What I'm getting at is the fact that He allows the J-idol world into my life as a tool to help get me through the day, because it works for me and my personality and character. I suppose the prime example of how it has assisted me comes from the fact that my main motivation through basic training (and even now) came, not from a Bible verse or anything blatantly spiritual, but from a J-pop song that just so happened to be released by a group that I had just so happened to have gotten into just in time for that song to become my prime source of inspiration. The general tone of the song, the lyrics (translated, naturally), and everything about it (heck, the video was military themed), was perfectly apt for my situation. I do not believe in coincidence. What I do believe is that God will use whatever He wants to use to help His children, and while I don't always understand the hows and whys of all that, I am exceptionally grateful for it.

One Year (Part Two)

(continued)

I mentioned the other day that my journey has been one of pure reliance on Christ. I can't begin to tell you how true that is. I see daily confirmations that I am where He needs me to be; I look back on this last year and can remember numerous obstacles that could have (and even should have) stopped me, but I was able to overcome them all thanks to Him. When I first went down for my initial military processing, I was sent back home disqualified, and was basically told that there was no chance of me getting into the Air Force. But I was so certain that I was on the right path that I never doubted that God would provide a way, and He did. My situation was overlooked and resolved and I can look at it as nothing less than an act of divine intervention. And the divine intervening has not ceased. Just recently, there was the situation with my knee. It bothered me throughout basic training and continued to get worse into tech school. I was in continuous pain, to the point where every step I took was almost unbearable. It was healed overnight and I've been pain-free ever since. There's only one possible explanation for something like that. That incident served as an extra renewal of my faith; a boost of spiritual closeness when I really need one; and a way for God to express to me that He will get me through all of this as long as I continue to trust in Him. I see His hand in my life daily. I listen to His voice and I follow it. Of course, that doesn't mean that everything is perfect, or that I have become anything resembling perfect. I still lose focus; I still doubt every now and then; I still take my own path here and there. The difference now, as opposed to last year, is that I always end up wandering back onto His path rather than wandering continuously farther away from it. For quite some time now, if you were to ask me what verse in the Bible I would most want to live by, I would have said Isaiah 30:21 - Whether you wander to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it." - Sadly, though I would express the desire to heed that verse, I didn't do it. He spoke; I didn't listen. Now that I do listen, my entire life has changed for the better. With all the change, I had to give a lot of stuff up. My interests, my desires, many of the things that I spent my time doing had to change. Old habits had to be replaced with new ones. Tomorrow, I'm going to shift my focus a bit (though not as much as you may think) and talk about how my new-found secular interests have impacted my life over the past year.

Commercial

I'll continue writing my real-life stuff tomorrow. I've been ridiculously busy this week with appointments every day. I have to get all this stuff out of the way now; I'll be able to relax a bit in a couple of weeks. But I thought I'd get on here for a little commercial break between my more serious musings and mention...


...Hello Kitty Milk Flavored Chewy Candy!

A friend jokingly put this in my basket at the commissary today, but I went ahead and bought it anyway. Turns out they're really good. The taste sort of makes me think of a sweet cheese flavor, like a really rich cheesecake. Yum! I think I may have to unashamedly buy these every once in a while.

...

Did I really just critique Hello Kitty candy?

Good grief.

^__^

One Year (Part One)

I'm really quite a busy person these days. Between having an on-duty weekend, classes, briefings, studying, socializing, and everything else that is packed into a day, I'm surprised that I'm able to find any time at all to sit down here and post something coherent. But I promised that I'd get this on here today, so here's...part of it. Hopefully I can managed to type up a bit more tomorrow. Like I said last week, all of the following thoughts and ramblings were intended to be expressed at the end of April, so I apologize for the half-month lateness...

...

Right around this time last year, I solidified my decision to join the United States Air Force, which set into motion the astounding series of events that have led me to where I am today. Needless to say, it's been quite a year. If the me from today were to go back and meet the me from a year ago, I don't think they would recognize each other. I've been wondering lately who exactly I was before April 2009, considering that much of what defines me - my career, my interests, the things people tend to associate me with...my whole character - was all initiated only a year ago. The foundation for this drastic turn-around is, of course, my relationship with my Savior. With my desire for a lifestyle change came a wonderful spiritual reawakening and a renewed reliance on Christ and The Word. My journey has been one of pure faith. Without Him, and without me being able to humble myself enough to unquestionably trust Him, there's not a chance I would have made it through any of this. In early April, when the Air Force seeds were first planted, I realized that the first thing I needed to set straight in order to move forward was my spiritual life. I had to develop more of a constant connection, a day-to-day, minute-to-minute walk side-by-side with Christ. As I pondered the possibility of military service, I discovered that the more I was able to work out my spiritual relationship, the more sure of myself I became in accepting the career route. The path was clearly being laid out for me by the Highest Authority and I finally reached the point where I became absolutely sure that I needed and wanted to take the step of faith and walk His road. And I haven't looked back. The constant connection I've had with Him has allowed me to give Him all the praise for every step, and I can take each new step in confidence, knowing that I'm right where I'm supposed to be. From the desire to move forward in life and to buckle down spiritually came the need and occurrence of various aspects, details, and habits of my life shifting. For the longest time, I was quite ashamed of my life and my situation, to the point where I had a tendency to want to distance myself from people; to (forgive the reference) forsake my friends and break all bonds of fellowship. No longer is there any shame. To know that everybody I know has supported me through all of this means more to me than I could possibly express.

(to be continued...)

Sorry (Again)

I think I need to stop apologizing for my lack of updates, and just update this thing with a higher level of frequency.

I do have something half-way written that I need to post, so this post is really nothing more than a post explaining the fact that I will be posting an actual meaningful post...soon.

I should have done it a couple of weeks ago, but I wasn't all that pleased with what I wrote, and ended up re-doing the whole thing. It's basically a "one-year-later" message concerning the way in which my life has drastically changed over the last twelve months. It was at the end of April, one year ago, that I solidified my decision to join the Air Force. With that decision, and a much-needed renewed Spiritual awakening, came a number of other life-altering changes. It seems like everything that defines who I am and how people perceive me was born last April. I'll even talk a bit about how and why I got so involved in the world of Japanese pop, which is a question I seem to be getting asked quite a bit lately.

So that'll be Monday. I promise.

I would do it this weekend, but I don't actually have a weekend this week. The Mississippi Special Olympics are held here at Keesler, and I'll be sponsoring an athlete, which means I'll be with him 24 hours a day from tomorrow morning to sometime Sunday. While it's sort of a bummer to be on duty all weekend (on a three-day weekend, no less), this is a good thing to be involved with and I'm sure it's going to be a lot of fun. But I won't be on the computer again until Sunday evening sometime, so that's why my little autobiographical ramblings will have to wait a few days.